My name is Caitlyn, I am a caregiver to my husband, Phil, who has metastatic cancer at age 30. Writing is a way to get some of my feeling out. I have shared with a few of my friends within the cancer community, and I was asked to share here. I really hope you all enjoy this as well.
Cancer tries to take a lot.
It tries to take everything.
It is successful at times at taking things.
The life you had, the life you envisioned or attempted to plan.
Your Feelings of invincibility
Your trust in your body.
Your understanding of age and life.
It takes away the control you thought you had.
The control over your goals, your opportunities, your future.
It lies to you when you feel awesome.
You eat healthy, you exercise, you follow the rules, but it still can be there when you feel your best. Taking away the belief that your attempts are more than futile.
It tries to take away all your happiness.
It tries to dictate your thoughts,
Tries to infiltrate every conversation you play out in your head.
It takes away the security you have in your relationships.
It tries to trick you into believing you’re alone, no one understands, no one wants to help.
It steals away your range of emotions, pushing a select few that try to keep you down.
It tries to do a lot of things to break you.
It succeeds at times.
It tries to take everything.
Remember that this is what it wants, not what it needs to do.
Be strong, keep yourself focused on new goals, your new life—albeit different from dreams.
Don’t give Cancer the ability to steal from you.
It’s tough.
It seems impossible.
But you’ve been doing it.
You’re alive today.
You didn’t let it take you.
You’re doing what you can, medically, to put it in its place.
The place may not be far from the surface, because you need it to remind yourself that we aren’t promised forever in this world. Use it as fuel to create new goals,
To look forward to tomorrow.
Use as a catalyst for deeper relationships with anyone you meet and as a way to deepen connections with loved ones.
Keep it present as a reminder of your mortality.
You need that to ensure you live the way you want, to the best of your ability.
Use it as a cannon to propel yourself full fledged in everything you try.
You may not always succeed, but remember your winning.
Tell it that it can’t have everything.
Ask for help, it’s not possible to do alone.
You are strong enough, you are worth it, you are a superhero.
You are trying, too.
Can you relate? Share your experience in the comments below.
Image courtesy of Author.
Caitlyn is caregiver to her husband, Phil, who was diagnosed with Ocular Melanoma in April 2016, and mets in October 2017. Caitlyn and her husband are high school sweet hearts, got married in 2009, and live with their two children, a girl and boy.