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I Had Cancer Guidelines

We're all here for similar reasons - we've been touched by cancer in some way. It’s up to all of us to show each other that no one is alone. Your IHadCancer profile is your own place to call home during this crazy thing called cancer, we just ask that you keep these simple guidelines in mind when participating.

1. Always Be Nice. This is a place for connections and conversations – we encourage you all to talk openly but please remain considerate in all of your engagement. Don’t post obscene, hateful or objectionable content. Abuse and disrespect will not be tolerated in the IHC community and is subject to deletion and user removal at our discretion.

2. Be a Good Friend. The IHC community is a family. Please remember to be a good friend to the connections you make on IHC. Ask questions that you wish someone would ask you; if you can’t find the right words to say, send a hug, it can speak louder than words. A simple gesture goes a long way.

3. Don't Spam. This includes sending unsolicited messages of any nature, posting links to unrelated content, promoting a survey, fundraiser or product where it shouldn’t be promoted. If you aren’t sure if something is appropriate to post, e-mail us and we’ll let you know.

4. Think Before You Post. Everything you post on IHadCancer is secure, but it is up to you to monitor how much or how little information you are sharing about yourself and your experience. Please don’t share personal or identifiable information like your mailing address or your full name and don’t share other member’s information.

5. If You See Something, Say Something. We work hard to make sure these guidelines are followed closely but if you see something that doesn’t’ feel right to you, please let us know. We review every report we receive and will take anything you say to heart. We promise.

6. Be Open. Welcome newcomers and help guide them through this journey based on your own experience. Whether you are a survivor, fighter, caregiver or supporter, you have valuable information that can very well help someone else who is just beginning the cancer journey. Be open to sharing experiences and give someone else the gift of your time.

Thanks for being a part of our community. It’s up to all of us to ensure that IHadCancer remains a place for us all to call home when dealing with the ups and downs of a cancer diagnosis.

Vannlar's picture
Vannlar Connect

Survivor: Kidney Cancer

Dear Cancer, You are ugly. Inside and out, you are ugly. I was simply living, being mother and father to my children after you took my husband and then you came for me. You made it difficult for me to turn to my children for support as I didn't want to put them through the memories of the pain of the death of their father. I didn't want them to feel the fear of loosing their mother. I couldn't face their fear, their pain. I prayed with each surgery, that if the pain was to continue, that I wouldn't wake up. You made me feel fear, not of death, but of loss of control, unable to eat, get my pain under control. Needing to work, to keep insurance up, feeling alone to the point, I looked at death with welcome. I gave up and decided to just live every day as it would come. I began to count my blessings, as they began to come, little by little, the more I lived for each moment, the more moments I was able to appreciate that were good. I don't look and plan for the future. If I do, you fill my heart with fear that the future may hold what the past held, so I thank you for teaching me to live every minute, love every minute, live for now as Now is what counts in life. I laugh more, love more, don't sweat the small stuff, and I will not fear. I will trust that someone will be there when the time comes to help me through the pain if you decide to re-enter my life. You are ugly, I see the ugliness you create in others and I don't like you, but I also don't fear you or the future as I live and love today because of you.

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