Life is naturally risky.When you move forward in a purposeful way,you will meet many obstacles.At least once in your life,you’ve probably been faced to a challenge that overcome in your life’s path to get where you are today.Now I’m telling a new part of my life story which has been hidden from all the friends of my life for the past two years,something so new and undefiled by all the sections of my life.So this is my story………
I was first diagnosed during the fall of 2014 with early stage blood cancer when I was a first year medical student at medical school.I found it awkward, embarrassing or uncomfortable to tell family and friends what was happening to me.I was deeply shocked when I received the diagnosis.I cried a lot.I couldn’t even begin to contemplate the future.After diagnosis I felt many things about my life,and that time I was struggling with depression.
I was with my girlfriend since October 2010.She was my best friend and only friend.Our love was a hidden one and she forced me not to tell anyone about our affair.She stood beside me for years.So I told her about my condition.She thought that I was lying.We had many disagreements,arguments because of my depression condition,but she never understood me.She always thought that I got into another relationship.So I went through treatments alone.Nobody helped me.Then at the start of may 2015 she said that this is not what she wants and this needs to be end.Well I accepted this cause I have always put her first and I never wanted her to marry a leucamia person,but secretly I took it terribly.Then I decided to stop doing my studies and I went to japan to do a job and at the same time I stopped my treatments because I never wanted a life without her.I begged her to come to my life again.While I was working Japan I met with with an accident and came back.Then I told my real condition to my parents also.Parents did as much as they could.Since then I have been getting chemotherapy,transfusions.I urgently needed to find a matching blood stem cell donor to give me the best chance of survival.After one year campaign a stem cell donor had been found.My ex love texted me untill September 2017 and then she found her husband.She pretty much hates me now because she believes that I am just a waste of time.
I think I’m lost. I really don't know how to live the rest of my life. I feel hopeless and depressed, with no goals or dreams.I don’t know what should I do.I thought about how I wanted to die.I tried several times to commit suicide.There are still days that I struggle with depression.Sometimes one word from your loved ones can certainly change your entire day.As I hold my mothers hand and i thinks about my miserable future.I would love to get marry,have children,become a doctor and help others,travel all over the world.I have done many things to make my parents proud.I have already completed my CIMA and graduated with my bachelor’s degree in Bio diversity management.I still have to complete my MBBS degree.Though it is not sure upto now.
I believe one thing “The future is uncertain the end is always near”.Everything in the universe has a life cycle.You just need to accept that it is going to change.Everyone you care about becomes a stranger.You never know what is coming next,live like the end is always near….