Living with cancer as a chronic illness
Systemic Radiation Therapy
Princess Margaret Cancer Centre (Toronto, Canada)
Post Traumatic Stress
It's incredible to me that I am 1.5 yrs out of treatment. I honestly never thought I would survive this long. My diagnosis is "an anomaly ". Those words are typically used when the doctors, who have seen so many different types of cancer , aren't really sure what to do with you.
I recently went to see my neuroradiologist for a follow up from my surgery. That day I was feeling fantastic. I even told him how I've weaned myself from all pain meds. And then two days later it changed.
It's like my body heard my elation And decided to gently remind me of everything it had endured. This body, who carried and birthed two children,who was once able to run, lift weights and know little pain, decided I needed to slow down. Pain in the front right and back left. This isnt all new pain. Pain I thought I had rid a fond adieu to has crept back.
I lay here convincing myself that it's all fine and once again, those words, "my new normal". Time will tell......
"New norma" . I've heard this term being used so many times while I was in active treatment and much more after.
Adjusting to this has been almost as difficult as the cancer itself. I have had to let go of the life I had before and adjust to a new one. The thing is, this has happened against my will. I didn't ask for all these changes. Hot flashes,menopause , lymphodemia to name a few and now osteoporosis. The last one is the newest of them all. This blessed affect from treatment has graced me with insufficiency fractures of my sacrum. Since I stand for a living this has made the past year of my life hell. I have just had a sacroplasty done. Which is a procedure where they fuse bones cement into the fractures. Should I be blessed that this could be "fixed". Absolutely. And I am grateful, I am grateful for my life. But this "new normal" I am not happy about. Not in the least.