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If She Had Only One More Season To Live | Cancer Poem

October 9th, 2017 |

by Neal-Klein | Caregiver: Pancreatic Cancer    Connect

My hibiscus. I did everything I could and it still died (or, someone said to cut it waaaaay back and it might show regrowth from the base. At this point,I question that, although it sounds very metaphorical which I like). There is something so sad about this, and then…there is yet another damn life lesson…about letting go. Damn those life lessons,some of them hurt to the core.

You want to know what the hell I am talking about, right? Okay, I took care of it, I brought it in for the winter, I babied it, I gave it nourishment, light, water, feeding, and sprayed it for bugs and when I brought it back outside, I thought at one point, as it was failing, that if I put it in the ground…it would at least have one more season to live…because next winter it would die.

That thought alone gave me ponder. No, I did not put it in the ground but I did put it in a bigger pot. It still died. But here is what I thought about one more season to live…

If She Had Only One More Season to Live

If she had only one more season to live
and I was aware of that
how much would I enjoy her relish her
marvel at her beauty
gaze and ponder and meditate upon her
inhale her lovely leaves and her blooms of magical wonder
how many moments would I drink her colors and dream her scent
when you know your time is running out
and your clock is almost finished ticking
as opposed to most of us whose road trip entails more than one season
and we don’t know when our final moment will be
and we live moments without death in our consciousness
but what if you know you do not have MORE than one season

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Neal-Klein's picture
Neal is a survivor of his spouse Emilee dying from pancreatic cancer (adenocarcinoma) twenty one months after diagnosis. He is beginning to find new ways of being and living in the aftermath of his wife’s death. He is discovering how to use the creativity born from the grief of losing the life that he knew. He writes about facing the fears of starting over again, and uses poetry, writing, and music for avenues of expression. His website,, chronicles his journey.